I was married in the late summer of 1992. My husband and I had enjoyed a blissful first year of marriage. We were ready to start a family as we celebrated the second year of our marriage. Little did I know it wasn't going to be that easy. I was told by my gynecologist to relax, I would have kids, no problem. The second year of our marriage turned into the third and then fourth year of infertility. Four years seems like a short time, looking back, but to me it truly was 1,460 days.
My yearning to have a child was so intense. Extended family members had their hands full caring for their darling children. My hands were empty. I know how Hannah, in the Bible, must have felt as she knelt before God and Eli that day with her soundless petition. Her heart must have felt like it was being squeezed out of her chest. I dreaded Mother's Day. I would sit on the church pew trying to force the lump in my throat not to turn into tears. Every year became more difficult. It went from bad to worse.
As the ushers passed out flowers, they always passed me by, "You're not a mom, yet!," They'd joke.
I started taking clomid and other fertility drugs. These drugs affected my emotions and did nothing for my situation. Well meaning friends could not feel the depths of my hurt. I remember locking myself in a bathroom stall and weeping, after a well meaning friend said, "No babies yet?" No. Babies. Yet. My situation began to feel impossible. Fertility charts lined my wall, thermometer by my bed...negative pregnancy tests, over and over again. "Has God forgotten me," I wondered. "How could people have abortions, or give their children up for adoption?" I couldn't understand. At one point in our struggle my husband and I considered adopting twins, but the adoption never worked out.
Then the miracle happened! Mother's Day 16 years ago...the Pastor of our church called me to come forward and stand in front of the altar. This was very uncomfortable, and I was feeling more like Hannah by the minute. He began prophesying that my husband and I would have a baby--that I would be expecting by this time the following year.
It came to pass the way he said. I was expecting by the next Mother's Day and in November I gave birth to Sarah Elisabeth. Elisabeth means Oath of God. Sarah was my promised baby and a testimony to me that God keeps HIS PROMISES. Sarah has been such a blessing in our lives. I dedicated her to God. God is faithful! She will be going on her first missions trip this year to Puerto Rico to visit an orphanage and be a part of the Youth On Missions Team. God didn't stop there but blessed us with two more daughters. I also know the heartache of losing a baby, for I had a miscarriage in between the birth of Savannah and Sadie. In spite of the struggle, and loss, God has filled my cup to overflowing!
This story is not meant to seek sympathy from you, but for you to realize how AWESOME and AMAZING God is. God wants to receive Glory in our lives. It is through our stories of heartache and pain, He gets GLORY! The situations you go through in this life are opportunities for God to work and get GLORY. The trials of our faith make us realize the Rock of Ages is our anchor of hope. Everyday we need to realize the closeness of our friend Jesus. We need to know that there is a God who really cares about our smallest need or biggest problem. There are some things we go through in life that press us to the point where we lack understanding, and start relying on His GRACE! This testimony is for you to know that God cares for you! When your hurt goes so deep that all you can do is move your lips in a cry of desperation, you can know that someday it will produce a song... To God be the GLORY!!!
Psalm 113:9 " He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children, Praise the Lord."